wrapped in a coccoon, I feel myself changing again.
New lip piercing, dyed my hair black. Always was a rebel! hahaha
And you thought you were fucked up…
I mentioned on facebook that I would give anything to have my dad here for graduation. He never stopped pestering me to do something with my life and now that he’s gone I’ve come so far. But it’s only here that I can say I’m really losing sleep over it…I get 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night with all the shit going on…Only here can I say that I’d rather be impaled than feel the tightness in my chest. I asked my mum to bring him (my little urn) to the bistro so I could keep it in my apron pocket while I work. One of the things I’m going to buy with my transition pay is a pendant for some ashes…that little urn is heavy.
I’m glad he doesn’t have a grave. I can hold the urn and cry over it in privacy. I can’t tell granmma that Mum is bringing it or she’ll freak out. Gramma wanted a grave instead I guess. So yeah…my dad’s parents and mum’s mum is coming, and so are my sisters. I haven’t seen the majority of my immediate family together since the memorial. And when I see them, my eyes blur and my heart gets crushed even though I’m happy. Cos Dad will never be in those pictures with all of us.
God my eyes and throat hurt while I type this. I guess I suppressed my grief too soon.
Other than that something weird going on with me. I have NO sense of morals right now… That married minister I was sleeping with got back with his wife and I’m gonna go be with them grad night…and have a threesome…and get my lip and nipples pierced…not only that, last Sunday I almost got caught making out with Kyle…yeah, my friend’s boyfriend. He’d been putting moves on me and I didn’t resist. He’s the only one I have feelings for right now so I just..kinda gave in. It doesn’t matter though, since I leave soon. I am also constantly preoccupied with checking out every hot girl or guy left and right. Flirting with girls I barely know and boys I considered brothers…shamelessly… I can’t even…no. I don’t even understand the recklessness that is my head and body.
I lost 12 lbs now.
I wanna get drunk and forget that I just spent 4 hours waiting for him.
Reblog if you are trying to lose 40 pounds or more!!! I need more amazing people to follow!
firstdaytoday:
i HAD to correct it from “loose” to lose… people, please…
(Source: livinclean-livinlean)
I did my research on laxatives.
Apparently you can get really addicted and destroy your intestines… but I am going to buy and try them.
I wanted something to flush the water weight for my graduation day. I hear senna tea is more natural, so I will try that. Coffee is just not effective enough this time.
I don’t want to get up knowing another mundane, lonely day of counting calories and fucking up is waiting for me. And I avoid going to bed because no one is waiting for me.
![adriofthedead:
misterjmasters:
legitimatelyabsurd:
hamandheroin:
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals in their shelters.
It takes less than a minute (only about 15 seconds actually) to go to their site and click on the purple box titled, ‘Click Here to Give - it’s FREE!’. Every click gives about .6 bowls of food to sheltered dogs. You can also click daily!
Keep in mind that this does not cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. [via.]
Go to the website here.
This was literally like my 3rd post on tumblr. Bringing it back.
Clicked dat bitch four times, I did. >:(
I CLICKED IT
Clicked 7 times!](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbg3bbnAjr1qzpvhao1_400.jpg)
adriofthedead:
misterjmasters:
legitimatelyabsurd:
hamandheroin:
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals in their shelters.
It takes less than a minute (only about 15 seconds actually) to go to their site and click on the purple box titled, ‘Click Here to Give - it’s FREE!’. Every click gives about .6 bowls of food to sheltered dogs. You can also click daily!
Keep in mind that this does not cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. [via.]
Go to the website here.
This was literally like my 3rd post on tumblr. Bringing it back.
Clicked dat bitch four times, I did. >:(
I CLICKED IT
Clicked 7 times!
(via deathbycat)
So sweet <3
Ipad VS Kindle Fire- Which is better and why?
My mum said she wants to get me one as a grad present. But which one should I ask for? I want one I can get onto tumblr and PT and get fitness apps and get music.